Anderson's Antics

Check!

2012-01-27T16:27:00.002-06:00

"Real" school wasn't in session today. The Three Nerds spent the morning reading chess directions and watching how-to clips on youtube. The older two know what each piece is and how it can move. That's more than I've learned in nearly 30 years. I love the lighting of this cruddy phone pic. I love the bunny holding down the game. I love N&A mimicking mannerisms. This picture makes me really, really happy. They had been signed up for after-school chess club but it was canceled due to lack of interest. Major bummer. I mean, how funny is this: Avrie in chess club. A regular riot, right!?

I took the kids out for no-school lunch today. We eat our delicious Thai. The bill comes. I rummage in my purse for my money. Uh. It's at home in my coat pocket. Yep. Uh huh. That really embarrassing thing that you hope never happens. Happened. Luckily, they know us all by name and the owner laughed it off and said we're welcome without money anytime. Thankfully, I had a crumpled check floating in my purse that he accepted even though they don't accept them. Pays to be a loyal customer. Oh. And we broke a glass the second we sat down. I tipped well. With my old-fashioned money.

Public Accountability

2012-01-23T14:56:00.004-06:00

When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair

50 Ways to Feel Thin, Gorgeous and Happy (When You Feel Anything But) by Geneen Roth

I bought this book. It sat on my book table for a while. I eyed it a bit disdainfully. I picked it up and read the foreward by Anne Lamott. Then I really didn't want to read it because I might just be fixed by doing so and I wasn't ready for that yet. The great thing about this book is, that while it's written towards those who compulsively eat, it can help anyone with any issues. I do not struggle with eating too much. I struggle with eating too little. I also put another issue I have into the context and it brought about great clarity. It doesn't matter. These pages came about at a time when I really, really needed them. I wasn't eating so that I'd be starving to distract myself from something else. It didn't work. Of course it didn't. I found the book a day after my friend hugged me and said I was skin and bones. First reaction was elation. Second reaction was the awareness of what I was doing to myself. A lot of people don't understand eating disorders. It's not a switch that can be turned on and off. Even during my times of "peace with myself," it's still always there in the background waiting for something to flare up so it can barge back up front. It's not a teenage phase. It's not a ploy for attention. It's anything but. It's my coping mechanism. A really unhealthy one. Mostly, this disorder for me isn't about feeling fat or being thin - I mean, that's there - but it's about control. It's hard to explain coherently. For example: I can't seemingly get a grip on how I feel about something. I want to eat this thing. I can't change the emotion. I can deny myself this thing. It's not so much "I can't eat the cookie or I'll get fat" as much as it's "I can't eat the cookie because I want the cookie and I don't deserve the cookie."

You know how sometimes you read or hear things and it's as if someone reached out and smacked you across the face? Yeah. They hurt, right? A lot of really necessary slaps in this book. ---

"And most of the time, our minds are somewhere else. When we get out of bed, we are thinking about something we should have done yesterday. When we talk to our children, we are thinking about the phone call we need to make. When we walk to the bathroom, we are thinking about the candy we shouldn't have eaten. Or want to eat. Or are going to eat. Or how great our lives are going to be when we lose weight, or get a promotion, or fall in love. Every day, in every moment, we spend our lives thinking about what we already did or are going to do, and we completely miss what we are doing. This lack of attention leads to a tremendous hunger that we can't quite name, so we get fooled into thinking that it's for something we don't have yet instead of something that is unfolding minute by minute, right in front of our eyes. Since you are going to do those things anyway -- since you have to get out of bed, walk to the bathroom, make breakfast, eat, clean the house -- why not be there while you are doing it?"

"Feeling fat won't keep you safe."

"Count the lies you tell in a day -- the times you say you don't care when you do, the times you profess emotion when you feel nothing, the times you add just the slightest twist to a story. You will be shocked at how much you omit, distort, exaggerate, or otherwise change the truth to fit what you perceive to be the needs of the moment. Lying about your actions or your feelings has the same effect as sneaking food. It is a clear message to yourself that you are too much. Too overwhelming. Too powerful. Too petty. Too ruthless. Too strong. Too smart. Too intense. The result of all these lies is that after a while, you can't find yourself. You forget what's really true. And you begin to feel fake because you know that what other people are seeing and loving is not you."

"Your thoughts can drive you insane. When you are present, nothing is missing. When you are present, a day seems like a week, a month like a year."

"[Starving yourself] doesn't lead to weight loss, health, well-being, or balanced energy. It also makes you feel like a lunatic, since hunger is a survival mechanism. More important, it will always lead to a ragged, empty feeling of desperation."

"Not every friendship is meant to last forever. Some friendships are meant to lead you to other friendships. Some are meant to be short, intense experiences. Some are meant to teach you one particular thing. [Letting go...] But it might be painful. You might have to grieve. After a while, letting go will seem easier than holding on, and at that point, separation will then be an act of love for both of you."

"If you don't let yourself fall apart when everything in you has already fallen apart, you will sleepwalk through your life, you will live in limbo. This is the thing: What you don't let begin can never end. And this is the second thing: If you don't let yourself fall apart, you will never be completely together."

I want to quote all of chapter 46 (Consider Resigning from Your Fondness for Drama) - I'll just heavily paraphrase:

"Telling yourself you are fat is fabulous drama. It is also time-consuming and anxiety-producing. We find that drama and agitation are strong, enlivening positions. You cannot be numb and agitated at the same time. You don't feel dead when you are famished, miserable, worthless. [I ask...] "What would your life be like if you woke up tomorrow and suddenly didn't have a problem with _____?" What would you do and think about if the main problem of your life was suddenly gone? At first, most people smile. How divine. Then, reality sets in. But what would I do all day long? What would I think about? The drama itself is incredibly alluring, and seductive. It's not that feeling fat feels good; we all know it feels terrible. But at least it feels like something. Imagine what your life would be like without the drama. How would your definition of yourself change? What would you do with all the time that you used to spend worrying about _____? These are burning questions. Live with them, turn them over. Wrestle with the answers. If you weren't convinced you were fat or _____, who would you be?"

"The bad news is that being thin is not going to do what you think it's going to do. If it did, everyone who is now or has ever been thin would be happy. And the good news is that you can have whatever you believe being thin will give you, and you can have it now. By living as if you liked yourself. By beginning today."

I'd really like to start today. I really would. But then what would I do? I might forget about the things I dwell on and that scares me. But how freeing would that be? I would be so light. And perhaps find the self I left in the dust. That's pretty darned exciting.

She Rocks Dejection.

2012-01-21T23:42:00.005-06:00

I finally video'd the sixth time. Her sagging tights, lefty roll, sassy confident pose, dejected flailing, defeated stomp accompanied by whipping awesome off-center ponytail. Cannot stop laughing at this video.

"When you buy a car, how do they get it on the scale?"

Wanting Dad to play Uno with her while he's unloading the dishwasher. Her solution: "Just have Mom do it. She's the maid."

"Dad, is Toy Story real? Tell me the truth." "No, it's not real." "*Sigh*, I knew it."

Evan reprimanding her for not going to sleep the other night. He exits her room and closes the door enough to make her think he's gone - she immediately picks up her barbie and starts brushing the hair. Evan reprimands and exits again. She immediately grabs the top of her Rapunzel tower toy (she is sleeping on the floor so the tower is above her head) and is pulling it down towards her when Evan opens the door. She promptly drops the tower...on her head. And wants consoling. We totally high-five'd when Evan recounted this story.

Serious Business!

2011-12-16T16:39:00.002-06:00

Furtive Fort Stuff, Part 2

2011-12-14T08:14:00.002-06:00

It's 1:33 a.m. and I hear rustling in the kitchen. Nolan is digging in the garbage.

Me: "Nolan, what are you doing?"

N: "Looking for something."

Me: "In the garbage?"

N: "Yeah. A plastic baggie, a little plastic box and a stick."

Me: "Nolan, are you awake?"

N: "Yeah?"

Me: "It's the middle of the night."

N: "It is?"

I go back to bed and sleep fitfully for the remainder of the night thinking about the trouble a sleepwalker could get into. After all, my folks had to reverse the locks so my brother wouldn't escape at night. Just last week we found Nolan standing in the bathroom with no idea how he'd gotten there. So, I attributed this little scavenger hunt to a sleepwalking adventure.

Nolan wakes up this morning and immediately resumes looking for the plastic baggie, box, stick. He explains further and, oh yeah. I had thrown that away thinking it was garbage.

"Mom? Can you do me a favor? Whenever you see junk in the cupboard where you found that other stuff and threw it away, can you not put it in the garbage? Cuz I'm keeping it for The Fort."

Mastering the Art of Furtiveness

2011-12-12T14:03:00.007-06:00

Nolan is currently obsessed with forts and all things involving the building of them. He was measuring the van last week to be sure it would hold his "4 to 6 feet chicken wire."

I believe this is the plan for a sled. With a shovel on the front to "scoop the snow when you slide." Oh my...the ingenious of such a thing. I told him his sled would get mighty heavy. He rolled his eyes at me. Apparently, he has a plan for that.

I have no idea what this is. He's also taken with "p.s." I remember those days. You can p.s. anything and it's super cool.

Like the drawing of the cardboard tube? I get "the look" if he sees me throwing away paper towel rolls. Ayiyi. He really doesn't understand my need for a recycling bin when he can just use it all and "remake stuff."

Here's the kicker. Dad had a talk with him about the chicken wire fort and animals living there, etc. So, I guess if "my sis did this" it takes the potential danger away? Stealthy boy, eh?

Coming up dry on wit...

2011-11-29T11:21:00.009-06:00

but there are things I'd like not to forget.

Like the time when Avrie says, "I want to kiss William. But not until after I'm done with college. So he doesn't want to marry me." -William is a cute boy in her class. Kindergarten. I was just reminiscing about my first kiss which happened in 1st grade. She's getting her cart ahead of her horse.

Like the time when the school nurse calls me reporting Nolan has an earache. "Nolan, do you need me to come get you so you can come home and nap?" "Wellll, I guess you could come get me after recess?" -They learn stinkin' quick don't they? I made frequent trips to the nurse's office too. Delightful place to escape. I wish life had a nurse's office!

Like how, try as she might, Avrie can't say lefse. "Lalsa." She knows she's saying it wrong. "It's just so hard to say. Cole, you say it like this: LEF SSS UHH- LALSA!"

And the time Avrie, with a twinkle in her eye, says, "I like hot lunch better cuz then I can tell you I ate it all even when I didn't and you wouldn't know and then I'd still get a treat." -Hmm. Smart enough to think of this and yet too proud to keep the idea to herself!

And the time Cole sang his ABC's so sweetly that I can't stop watching it. I'm obsessed with him. He's spoiled absolutely rotten.

Just look at him. How do you not spoil that?

And then there's this little ditty from the other day:

Cole and Toby are fighting at the lunch table. Klara says, "Guys, stop! God loves it when we're nice to one another." Cole retorts in utter defiance, "Nuh-uh! God is sick. Yeah, God is sick today!" And continues on bickering with Toby. -In his defense, D & H had just spent two days here and were both a titch under the weather. He's 3. He can't possibly know how to separate God from God's ministers! He has asked me several times since if "God is sick today?" Doof.

And today. Avrie threw an all-out screaming fit at school after being tattled on for telling another kid to "shut-up." -It's so hard to have a serious conversation about being kind and using nice words when, in reality, some people just need to be told to SHUT UP! We're gonna have a real nice relationship with Mr. P, the principal, I think. On whom Avrie has a crush. Maybe this is her ploy to get to his office.

I'd like to forget me. But I'm here. Plugging on. Trying to piece together bits of sense now and again. I'm not really ready to do the whole reflect-on-the-last-year type thing though it's coming up in a month or so I guess. If that's the kind of thing I'd do. What are the kind of things I do? Bilbo Baggins says it pretty much spot-on: "I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel all thin, sort of stretched: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. I need a Holiday." I picked up my knitting again last week. A great little holiday from myself! I'm making felted slippers for the Better Half that require constant counting which results in a fairly clear mind! Whoot. Makin' slippers for the world, yo!

My Kid Rocks.

2011-09-30T07:27:00.002-05:00

"I counted from 7 to 11 on my flanges then I counted my fingers answer."

Enlarge for full effect. Summer filth to the fullest.

2011-08-29T10:22:00.011-05:00

So long, Sadie-Dog -correction!- Hallelujah! She Lives!!

2011-08-26T09:44:00.005-05:00

I really, really, really wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. Of course I eventually found out that I'd have to euthanize. That was the end of that dream. I still remember the heartache I felt when Adeline broke the news to me that animals don't go to Heaven. My semi-OCD need for cleanliness has dampened my love for animals in the years that have passed. However, my throat still got choked up this morning to learn that Sadie is being put down. It made Evan a little misty-eyed as well. After all, he was responsible for her permanent wink! She was a good ol' pooch. It's going to be a lonely farm without her.

**Turns out it may just be an inner ear thing. They let her live. Whew. Boy, what a way to prep yourself for the future, eh!?

My Heart is Happy.

2011-08-25T22:15:00.003-05:00

Two hours after his siblings have fallen asleep. Deep into Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I love this so much. I remember reading late into the night; my mom remembers reading with a flashlight under the covers. So utterly grateful the love to read has been passed on to another generation. And real paper pages, too. Sigh...gives me warm fuzzies.

August Birthday Buddies

2011-08-25T20:56:00.004-05:00

Avrie is 5. Cole is 3. I pulled my first white hair the day of the party. No joke. Avrie is less than two weeks away from all day/every day kindergarten. Aside from his thumb, Cole is no longer a baby. Avrie is grounded for the first time this week. Cole scared the living daylights out of us by going to the neighbor's house without asking. Avrie told me she only loves Dad a "raisin" more than me. Cole keeps watch out his bedroom window for Daddy to come home long after he's supposed to be asleep. They are two little people. Amazing little people. I love them so fiercely that I can't breathe when one is missing for 2.2 seconds.

Avrie, Avrie, Avrie. We shake our heads in wonderment at her. Spunky. Sassy. Sweet. Forgiving. Intense. Challenging. Headstrong. Unforgettable. A breathless expression the other day: "Mom! I just had this coool daydream! So, I had a unicorn and she was sooo pretty and we flew up into the clouds and they were so soft and comfy and we lived there and we were magic and took food out of our belly and put it into our mouth and ate it up so we were full and then the unicorn was sooo magical and got rid of all the scary monsters. It was such a fun daydream." As much as she contributes to my fading hair color - I wouldn't change this girl for anything. I really couldn't make up such a kid if I tried.

Coley. My sweet, sweet boy. He's so tenderhearted and humble. He woke up yesterday morning and we launched into a rowdy rendition of Happy Birthday. He was so embarrassed that he ran into the bathroom and hid behind the door. Takes after his mother that way - I can't think of anything much more uncomfortable than being sung to. He hardly uttered a word until 2 1/2. I've gotten to keep him a baby for far longer than I'd have ever thought. Now he won't be quiet and has opinions about everything. He absolutely loves to taunt his sister. Classic younger bro, eh?! I have the best little alarm clock ever. Cole crawls in bed with me without fail every morning around 7. I savor it. Some mothers get up before their kids and be productive and stuff. Not I. And miss out on my Cole snuggles? No way. There was a time that the thumb went away. I thought I'd lucked out with the world's easiest thumb wean. Not so. He's back sucking with a vengeance. I swear he won't go to college sucking his thumb. But for now I'm going to enjoy my baby.

I didn't get many pictures of the party. My mom's camera setting was off and nearly all of them were blurry. We had a park party with our family and closest friends. Food: Subway party subs, chips, pickles, watermelon, fruit salad, lemonade. Cupcakes: chai spiced carrot cake with vanilla bean frosting; coffee chocolate cupcakes with salted caramel buttercream frosting. Yumma. Fun was had, presents were opened, ball was played, mosquitoes were slapped, chit-chat was had. Off to a great start for the next year!

"Avrie, what can't you live without?"

2011-07-31T20:00:00.004-05:00

Avrie turns 5 in less than two weeks. I know. How can that be? Yikes. I've had several people ask what she's into, what she likes, things she needs, etc. This stumps me. If you've asked and received my blank stare and shrug, I'm sorry! This photo is a perfect example of what Avrie does all day. Every day. Blankets and pillows and various things are hauled all around the house to various places to make "comfy spots." Favorites are: clothes baskets, behind the purple chair in the corner, under the dining table, under the coffee table, the middle of the kitchen floor, laundry room floor, under Dad's desk, the guest rooms. The "various things" can be anything, really. Polly Pocket clothes (rarely a doll), rocks, torn pieces of paper, crayons, a notebook or two, three, four, empty lunch box, stuffed animals, hair stuff, beads, etc. Seemingly no rhyme or reason but I guarantee she has a method to her madness. Just ask her! So, I asked her in the van today "Avrie? What can't you live without? What do you want for your birthday?" Here is my transcription:

"Ummm, strawberry face gel. That sparkly kind that I had once but don't anymore.
Confetti to dump on the ground to make the party pretty.
Uh. A stuffed animal - a tiny cat this time.
Hmm. Oh! An electric oven like the kind that Grandma Char wanted when she was a little girl but never got. Then when Klara comes over I can make her little cakes and stuff.
A purse that is, like, sparkly.
A real phone. So I can call people on it. Like, Trevin and Grayson. And call Daddy when he's at work.
A princess scooter.
My own notebook.
Uh. Ah. Hmm. Oh! My own bubblegum because I was waiting for it and never got it. The tape kind of bubblegum.
The Princess and the Frog dress. I don't have one of those.
Hmm. I'm thinkin' of another thing.
That kinda chapstick with a chain and Hello Kitty dangling on it.
Um. Princess shoes.
Clothes. Like, meeting clothes, play clothes. I don't have very many meeting shoes, so I'm gonna want meeting shoes.
And. Let's see. Hmmm. (Snaps and furiously chomps her gum.)
And an art easel, Mom! Dad, what's an art easel?
A tape holder. I know!! Pretty duct tape that I can make stuff with.
Books for me to read. Boring book, boring books for me to read. They're called boring books cuz boys don't like girl things. Like, a boring princess book.
I want a baby duck - that one from Hub Hobby - well, uh, there's a little bottle it sucks on. It's soooooo cute. It's nice.
A Rapunzel dress and Rapunzel hair that is TWO FEET TALL!!! I just LOVE it SOOOO much and I just wanted it RIGHT NOW!! You'd be the best Mommy in the whole world if you boughted it for me!
Let me see if there's more. Okay, Mom. Let's see. A bag. For all my fancy things - like my chapstick, my boa made out of feathers, a laa-lalala.
A stuffed animal with its own collar and you can pretend you're walking it. And it has batteries so you can turn it on and it walks. Well, Mary, our neighbor, has a dog with a little collar but it doesn't work anymore but you turn it on and it walks."

That's it ya'll.

"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves."

2011-07-25T14:19:00.005-05:00

I couldn't be more thrilled with Nolan's summer. He's plowing through the Magic Tree House series at an average of 2* books/day. Going to the Winona library in the summer is one of my happiest memories as a kid. I see that they've remodeled it a bit, but that library is awesome. Old, musty, glass floors upstairs, many nooks and crannies. I'd get a stack as big as I could carry and read them all in just a few days. The wait to go back was agonizing. The library is still one of my happy places. Occasionally, I'll feel like Nolan should be doing something more-enjoying the weather, being a kid, whatever. So, I kick him outside to the hammock. Problem solved.

Look at his legs. It seems that a giraffe has moved in.

*quote by Anna Quindlin

*Did I say 2? He's read two already this morning. AND we went to the park. Good grief.

She Shakes Her Head in Disbelief.

2011-07-11T12:57:00.007-05:00

There was a stretch of time in my life when I couldn't sleep during the night. I'd wake 3-4 times an hour all night long. Interestingly enough, when my first baby was born I could finally sleep; I was exhausted. While it has significantly improved, I still don't sleep the night through unless I take drugs or ingest aged grapes. Last night was awful. The longest stretch of zzz's I got was 42 minutes. It gives a person lots of time to think when said person is too lazy to get up and be productive in the dead of the night and prefers to suffer in near agony. The night lasted f.o.r.e.v.e.r. And e.v.e.r. Yay.

You know what has gone by in an absolute blink of the eye? My first baby is SEVEN. In fact, he turned 7, um, over a month ago. June 4, exactly. Total blink. Which makes me think maybe I need to savor the never-ending nights. Use them to my advantage. Dwell on things that ground me, people I love. Instead of doing my hamster-wheel of "whens" and "whatifs" and "becauses" and "maybes" and "blabbity blab" and "on and on and on."

So my kid had this great birthday party. And it's been over a month and I've yet to document its happening. Stellar Mommy. Nolan is....Nolan. He's inquisitive and a titch cynical and 100% comfortable in who he is. He is all about experiments and how things work. Which is why a science party was completely up his alley. Lucky for us we have a friend down the street (for two more weeks) who volunteered (or didn't dare say no) to be the nerdy (didn't have to alter himself) party entertainer (who he is by nature.) So I focused on the cupcakes and that was [nearly] the extent of my party planning. There was a lung capacity thing, oobleck, suck-an-egg-into-a-bottle -which turned into blow-the-eggtop-off, unsuccessfully blow a cd bubble, boil water in a balloon directly over a flame, the infamous Coke and Mento geyser. I feel like something is missing. Probably because it's been over a month since the party. Seriously. I resolve to stop blinking. Or figure out how to do it mindfully.

Happy belated birthday tribute to my favorite first-born! Thanks be to the guests who made the party. Thanks be to C and his infinite geekdom! Here's me wishing the eighth year passes s.l.o.w.l.y.

The Plan.

2011-06-13T12:52:00.002-05:00

This happened back in '09. '10 was apparently busy enough that it didn't warrant a list. This summer brings us - as dictated by the offspring:

The fingers must be educated, the thumb is born knowing.

2011-06-09T12:16:00.002-05:00

My baby* hasn't sucked his thumb for four days. Not for lack of want. The thumb is ravaged with saliva induced eczema. Cracked, swollen and bleeding. We've kept it covered in ointment and a bandage. He woke this morning at 5 am and started to cry. Sobbing. It was coming from his heart. I truly think he finally realized that he has to let go. He was crying out of heartache. The outpouring of tears lasted until 7:15 when he finally fell asleep in my arms, entirely spent. I understood. It's so hard for me to let go of things that hurt me yet comfort me. I'm too familiar with that aching heart. I think the expression of grief has allowed Cole to move on. To find another [safe] source of comfort. There are so many lessons my children will teach me.

*How long can I call him "baby?"

Food for Thought

2011-06-09T08:18:00.003-05:00

The most sincere love of all is the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm a passionate person by nature. In thinking a bit the last few days about where my passions lie, it kept coming back over and over again to a singular word with vast possiblities: food. It's one of the most fullfilling things in this natural life. Of course you all know me well enough to know that I'm talking about "food" here. The real stuff. That grows in dirt. That roams free. That nourishes both body and soul. I'll never forget the first meal I had with our friends, H & A. I audibly "mmmed" and our friendship solidified in that moment. I adore people who eat audibly. You close your eyes in rapture while eating and we're friends for life.

Not much opens one's senses so completely than a good meal. I've used this comparison ) before, but it's a good one, so I'll use it again - nam pla prik pbon. It is a perfect balance. Absolutely perfect. There's this common phrase I love to hate "food isn't love." I often beg to differ. When my life seems to be thrown off kilter and things spin out of control - nothing settles me more than hitting up my Thai joint for a meal that brings me inner calm and centers me. It's nearly spiritual. A bowlful of tom yum with a hefty spoonful of nam pla prik pbon stirred in - it's like a bowl of meditation.

When I care about people - I want desperately to feed them. You could call me Grandma Ardis and not be far off. I worry and I feed. I may just adopt "eat now" and be completely okay with that. Quite often I come across a dish and it's so utterly amazing that I want to feed it to absolutely everyone I love. That happened two nights ago. Kimchi fried rice topped with a fried egg. Simple and yet complex. It tugged at my heartstrings. I swooned.

Food invokes memories. A particular texture, flavor, presentation, cuisine - can bring me back to someone. Great Aunt Dorothy - rosettes. Great Grandma Milly - lemons, peaches, cherries, blueberry scones and salt water taffy. Grandpa Homer - pan fried fish and Rolaids. It's guaranteed if I know you even a smidgen that I have a food related memory of you. I hang onto them fiercely.

Bon appetit!

When a woman stays at home and cooks with good judgement and understanding, peace and happiness result. She thus controls the family's health and destiny, also her husband's mood, disposition and feeling, and assures the futures of her children. - Unknown

the little bits that make my life.

2011-05-26T21:18:00.006-05:00

"Her thoughts were like torn bits of paper blowing around." - Francie, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

I always cringe a bit when writing these posts that tend to center on me, myself and I. Who cares? That's what a blog is really for though, eh? That and cute pictures of One's kids. Which I don't have because I've been too busy to take pictures properly. In the hullabaloo of the day, I felt a blog post rolling in. We'll see what becomes of the bits.

Wake up at 6:59 - one minute before my alarm is due. I feel cheated. The house is stuffy and a titch muggy. Evan took all the storm windows out for paint prep so we had to sleep with the windows shut lest some varmint crawl in. I'm okay with this - sleeping with the windows open in the city never ceases to make me uneasy. I settle on the couch with my tea and Esther 1-3 for a bit before Cole stumbles out. I wish you could see him in the morning. Makes your heart mushy. He immediately wants "rehfast."

I've never fed my kids Malt-o-Meal. I bought a box last night on a whim. They were not impressed. Nolan - "it smells good but doesn't taste very good." Ahh, well. They ate it without too much fuss with blueberries, chia and brown sugar. I got my ego inflated a bit at the grocery store last night. I got stopped in the parking lot and was asked "are you married?" I was wearing a long jean skirt, black cardigan, flats and had my hair in a bun. My inquirer - a do-rag wearin' gangsta. Honest. Attracted to the modest bunhead? Huh? Okay then. My head deflated enough to fit through the door.

School run happens. 9-12:30 - I do a final scrape of the backside of the house and prime it. The kids are busy in the house with tape and scissors. No joke. After a giraffe gets a haircut I decide Netflix Nanny can take over. They zone out to some talking animal movie until it's time for lunch. We picnic it and lay in the sun for an hour to work on our freckles. Every watermelon I've had this season has been awesome. 1:30 - 2:30 - Powerwash the south side of the house while Cole naps. 2:30 Kiss my husband when he comes home from job #1 for job #2. Do some laundry and dishes before leaving at 3:15 to pick up Nolan from school. I have a few minutes to sit while waiting for him. I finally finished reading a book yesterday....it only took 9 weeks. Honestly. I started reading Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. It's a 10-day loan so I'm hoping for a relaxing weekend.

4:00 - Situate the kids at the table with a hefty snack. Powerwash half the front of the house. Remove the shutters. 5:00 - Throw gym clothes on. Pick the biggest chunks of paint out of my hair. 5:30- 6:30 - Nazi led group cycle. 21 miles and a nice little puddle under the bike.

7:00 - Make supper. Fry some eggs for egg, cheese, ham sandwiches. Reheat some leftover roasted roots and green beans. Eat parsnips with my fingers while playing WordFued with my fab friend. Cut up a cantaloupe that was inedible. Eat.

7:30 - 8:15 - Powerwash the remainder of the front and a quarter of the north side before Evan gets home from JB and takes over. Hit the shower for my daily scalding vice. Put kids to bed. Make husband's supper. Empty dishwasher. Plunk my backside on the couch next to my better half.

Breathe.

I didn't say the bits were interesting.

To live, to struggle, to be in love with life - in love with all life holds, joyful or sorrowful - is fullfillment. The fullness of life is open to all of us.

-Betty Smith

Man vs Woman

2011-04-05T11:12:00.003-05:00

I don't mean this to be insulting. Or to sound bitter or resentful. It's just merely my observation and perhaps a bit of envy.

I'm heading to St. Louis Friday morning for a little girls weekend. I'm beyond excited to spend some quality time with some female adults. So I'm busy. Busy getting ready to leave. Cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, kid-care coordinating, packing, cleaning, laundry, planning, cleaning. Everything needs to be in place before I leave. Or the world just might fall apart. I'm realizing that I really need to let things go. Evan is a very capable father. I'm awfully tempted to just pack my things and leave. Don't worry about all the little things. He knows where their closets are. And the fridge. And Target. After all, he went on a guys weekend a couple months ago. Here's how it went: he woke up Friday morning, threw some clothes in a backpack and left for work. That was the extent of his trip preparation. I'm going to reciprocate his faith in me. However, I will remember my toothbrush.

Guilt Gnaws

2011-03-22T09:32:00.003-05:00

Mindy has caused me to examine a bit this morning.

What do I feel guilty about? Why?

I think I'm a pro at justifying. If I can justify the guilt isn't quite so heavy. Human nature loves this. But do I really need to feel guilty about the things I feel guilty about? (This post is going to be really hard to write without overusing the word guilt.)

Let's go with this morning. First offense: Dipping into the last of my $11 jar of almond butter. Eleven dollars. I could hardly walk out of the store the guilt was so heavy. An apple, almond butter, chia seed. It's my meal at least once a day. It's a ritual, really. A moment of peace. It's always eaten standing at the counter. Wash and slice the apple. Knife into the nut butter, dip into the chia, insert in mouth, bite of apple. Repeat. Meal complete. I'm done feeling guilty. Because that jar fed me nearly every day for 3 weeks. Pretty darned affordable when it's looked at that way. Justified.

Second offense. Chai latte from Dunn Bros after dropping Nolan off at school. $4.10. Gasp. This one's a bit harder to write off. Just watch me. #1, I used cash. Using a debit card for a drink is never acceptable. #2, I need the calcium. Yeah, that's a stretch. #3, It's only once a week. Hmmm. Lame. #4, I've got it. It's raining. #5, There was only a heaping teaspoon of almond butter left. I didn't eat nearly enough for breakfast. Justified.

See how this works?

Third. The tub of size 4 clothes on the purple chair. It's been there for a week. It needs sorting through. I just don't feel like it. Justified.

You know what? I don't think tangible things hold much of a guilt factor for me. I can always write them off. What's harder for me is my thoughts. My feelings. I know how I want to feel about things. And then there's how I really feel. And I seemingly have no control over it. There's where the guilt hits me.

There's the exercise demon. I literally cannot do anything more strenuous than walking right now. I hurt. Badly. I'm afraid I'm broken. That doesn't stop the hamster wheel of guilt. The liquid calories I justified up there in the Second Offense? The justification doesn't last long. Now I feel like I need to wear it off. I'd do anything not to feel this way. To eat something for the sheer joy of eating it. I'd pay for that.

I've felt the sneaky depression bastard easing his way in lately. I'm hoping it's just the weather. I'm scared that it's not. I have everything going for me. I want to be delirious with the beautiful soundness that is my life. And yet, more often than not, there's this big, gaping, dark, heavy - so heavy - hole in my chest. It's a very physical feeling. That's where the guilt is. There really are no words to describe it accurately. We've been hearing in our gospel meetings lately the importance of being babe-like. Babies don't know how to do anything but cry and that's what appeals to God. I'm very thankful for the peace that comes with just crying. Peace in knowing all our guilt is covered by Jesus. Life can be full of lemons (injury, trials, illness, illness, trials, illness, flooded basements, broken garage doors, illness, injury, blah blah blah) but it's still amazingly sweet because we have hold on something eternal. We have clarity on what's important.

Sluggards we are not.

2011-03-07T16:19:00.006-06:00

We probably all have something we've been told since we were young. Something we hate to hear. It grates on our nerves. Quite possibly because it rings too true. For me? Slow down. Slow down. Slow down.

I'm fast. I am. A few examples:

I talk fast. Really fast. I've managed to slow down a bit over the years. I have. If I ever leave a message on our voicemail at home and listen to it later I'm always baffled. Who can understand that?

I drive fast. I brake fast. I change lanes fast. There can't be anything in my window or it slides from side to side. I make people carsick. I think. I should.

I eat fast. If you eat slow and I've eaten with you... guarantee it was painful for me. So painful. Eating slow is torturous. Plus, your food gets cold. Aside from my kids, who likes tepid food? I inhale. Oh, and this isn't the point - but if you're a girl who orders half a salad, takes half an hour to eat it and then proclaims "I'm so stuffed." - I never, ever want to eat with you. So annoying.

I run fast. This is why I could never be a long distance runner. Plodding along at 6 mph...zzzz. I run hard. 8-10 mph for a few minutes and back off to breathe. Then amp it up again. None of this painfully slow jogging thing.

I type fast. I was a rockin' awesome transcriptionist. My fingers FLY, baby. Just ask anyone with whom I have rapid-fire email response. Watching my husband finger peck is excruciating. I have to take over.

I write fast. Not sayin' it's legible. Probably why I can never reread convention notes.

I just plain move fast. Cook fast. Bake fast. Brush fast. Walk fast. Read fast. Oh, yes...I read fast. Very. And play Dutch Blitz with me. Dare ya.

Interesting thing though. I have low blood pressure. I have a low resting heart rate. So low that they generally have to take it again. So, maybe I balance myself out after all.

That brings us to the doll that is most definitely my daughter. She got a giftie from her boy crush yesterday afternoon. She colored the whole thing in 30 minutes.

Ain't no restraint for this girl. Save some for later? Why? These are cacti stained glass pictures that came from Arizona. Her exclamation as I take the picture: "It's like I'm a princess in the desert!"

She's convinced she knows all there is to know about Arizona now. Absolutely. Dad is off registering this spirited thing for Kindergarten. How did that happen? I must blink fast.

So, while I was tempted to include "learn to savor" in my resolution list - I know it's just not going to happen. It's not in me. Apparently, it's a trait I've passed on to my daughter as well. Just the other night she was eating a sucker. Like me, she can't suck them. Chew, chew, chew. All done. I resolve not to tell her to "slow down." But, of course I have to tell her something that will stay with her for life. What is it? Hmmm. "Tone it down." "Take it down a notch." "Take it down an octave." Eyiyiyiii.

Timely? Meh.

2011-03-07T13:09:00.002-06:00

It's March. I've had some time to think about things that need resolving this year. I bring you, slightly belated, my "new year's" resolutions......

Be less aimless.
Focus on being present.
Keep mouth closed to avoid the insertion of feet.
Establish some sort of line.
Give more. Take less.
Talk less. Listen more.
Chill out.

Eating Crow. Again.

2011-03-04T13:52:00.002-06:00

I've been sick. A very lengthy bout of lethargy and malaise. Prior to that I'd put my back out. Things have gotten put on the back burner around here. Let's just briefly mention that I sanded the wrong side of our bathroom door last week. So now we have to find stain to match to redo. And I still have to sand the correct side. And paint it. And buy new hinges for the cupboards. One of which I tried to take the easy way out and use liquid sander. What a joke. The paint is already chipping off. Remember that this bathroom project started almost exactly two years ago? Mmmhmm. Sooooo. I'm feeling mighty fine today. Got up early for my ultrasound to check my spleen and kidney function. Stopped by the lab to get my blood work redone. Got home around 9:15 just in time for the delivery of my daycare kiddos. Toby takes a snooze while everyone else has a heyday playing in the boys' room. I'm having a grand time digging my kitchen out from under the layer of grime that is life. I was feeling generous and even cleaned Bait's bowl. Remember back when I said something like "I almost always know where and what my kids are doing?" That sure was foolish. Nolan spent Sunday-Wednesday in bed. Literally slept all day, every day. Last night he was coughing quite a bit in the night so I got up to give him some honey based cough syrup. Let's come back to the present. Enter Cole. Sitting on the floor in the middle of the area rug in his room. He had dumped half the bottle of sticky honey syrup on the rug and was smearing it around with his hands. Everywhere. He'd even taken a baby wipe and was trying to clean it up. Dear soul that he is. May I remind you that it's the dead of winter. And that the only way I know of to clean an area rug is to take it outside and pressure wash it on the driveway. Turns out the boys' floor is gorgeous. And it was in dire need of cleaning. And we found lots of treasures under the bed. Don't go thinking he did me a favor now. And I do realize I was the one who left the syrup out, yes. I also think I have a penchant for beginning sentences with "and." And we'll leave it at that.

Skidamarink a doo doo doo.

2011-02-14T20:14:00.002-06:00

Help me find the humor in this. Please.

2011-02-14T13:25:00.004-06:00

It's that dreaded money-making holiday. I'm being fun mom/good wife today. I break out the cute tablecloth, have heart plates for breakfast, make heart sandwiches for lunch with pink lemonade, whip up a batch of red 40 cupcakes that I had intended to be our dessert for supper - grilled New York strips, roasted baby red potatoes, carrots & peas, bottle of wine. I even text the Significant Other to inform him that the dessert passed the taste test.

I put the boys down for a nap. The girls and I head downstairs. They're playing princess. I hop on the treadmill with my ipod and my book. So, I can't hear anything. On a whim - gut instinct- I decide to run up quick and check.

My baby. MINE. THE TWERP. Has completely destroyed a dozen cupcakes. Completely. Not salvageable. So much for my rant of knowing where my kids are and what they're doing at all times. Eating words is bitter.

And. I made a special trip to the store with extra kids this morning to get this dumb cupcake stuff. For this dumb holiday. Husband?? ---I love you. And you don't need cupcakes to know that. But, I'll try again. Tomorrow.

"The Cake" Day.

2011-02-14T09:30:00.005-06:00

This makes me look a titch crazy -or something. So this one goes out to those I feel closest to - those who know I'm a bit fuzzy around the edges and love me anyways. Especially to my husband -the glue that holds me together. I've come to realize as of late that it's the little mundane details of life that really make life what it is. And a grand adventure it is. So here's my adventure for Saturday, February 12th.

I eat breakfast. Evan, Nolan, Alan and Tanner leave for the day to skii Welch. It's 8:30 and I start work on THE CAKE. That one that I may have mentioned. It has 16 whole eggs and 11 whites. It's supposed to be gorgeous. Let's remember that. It's now Noon. My mom burned a pot of soup. Apparently, that's possible. We ate it for lunch. Except for Wyatt - he ate a cup of cheese curds and a piece of bread with mayo. Gag. How are that kid's eyes not brown? No clue. I eat in 12 minutes and am back to assemble the cake. It's put together and ready to sit in the freezer for a bit before frosting. We nestle it amongst the 350 pounds of meat in the garage freezer. Let's confirm: yes, I worked on the cake for a solid 3 1/2 hours.

Now it's time for a break. Bundle the kids up in their snow gear and Gpa/Gma haul them off in a huge sled on the snowmobile to the monster sledding hill out back. I strap on snow shoes, plug myself into my ipod and pump myself up for the 2 mile hike to the back 40*. It's glorious. I can sing my wee heart out and not a soul can hear me. I rocked some "Hey Juliet," a little Soul Asylum for reminiscing about old times, some Ga-Ga, Bush, Smash Mouth, Led Zeppelin, Kesha, Feist, Colin B, Kanye, Pink. It was a good ol' time. A well rounded bunch. Finally meet up with the crew at the hill and have a blast tubing farmer style. Walk up the hill? What a ridiculous notion. That's what the Polaris is for. Jarred my back a bit...but all in the name of good fun. So, that's okay. Gang heads back and I start the trek back home thinking about how much I'm going to enjoy eating my cake guilt-free. I have a spring in my step...this day is awesome...I love the Lord, I love my family, I love my friends, LIFE is good.

The cake. I open the freezer. My cake. My heart drops. SOMEONE. THREW. A. FULL. PORK LOIN. ON. TOP. OF. MY CAKE. MY 3.5 hour labor of "I'm snowshoeing 4 miles for a piece of this." Uh. "MOM? What happened to my CAKE??" Apparently, my dear, darling nephew decided he was going to help himself to the ice cream. And THREW A FULL PORK LOIN ON TOP OF MY CAKE.

See, people (okay, mostly my dear, dear husband who has no qualms about letting Cole eat a sandwich without wiping his hands at least 6 times per half**) think I'm a bit OCD about certain things and a little bit controlling about certain things. But. It's for MY OWN benefit. See, I know where my kids are at all times. I know pretty much what they're doing at all times. I stress over and over again about "eat neat. don't make a mess." because I don't like vacuuming daily. I don't like wiping my table off constantly. So, therefore, don't make a mess...there's not one to clean up. My kids know this. Also. ASK FOR THINGS THAT ARE BEYOND YOUR REACH. I WILL HELP YOU. Please. Let me help you. So I can stay relatively sane. Please. Okay, so I might need to relax a bit. But. If I would have been here...I would have known where the kids were. And, trust me, they would NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE FREEZER CHUCKING PORK LOINS ON MY CAKE.

I manage to sort of salvage the cake. I open the fridge to get my bowl of lovingly and painstakingly prepared buttercream frosting. I discover it's done some funky separating thing. Grand. Lovely. I rewhip it the best I can. Which is not good. It's watery. It's loose. At least it's delicious. I slap it on the cake and not-so-gently throw it in the cake carrier*** and toss it in the fridge. Best of luck to it. I'm so sitting down with a cup of tea now.****

I can't stay out of my Mother's kitchen. It's big and gorgeous and big and full of counters and big. And - the best part - I can bake and cook to my heart's content and she'll clean up after me. It's an excellent trade-off. It's times like these that I wonder wistfully what my life would be like if I'd followed through with culinary school. And then I gently remind myself that chef's have terrible hours, bad backs, excess flesh and that I wouldn't have my children. That's enough to bring me back to the present. To the apple pie muffins that I'm whipping up for breakfast. I'm licking the beaters and as always -when eating something so full of sugar- think about the calories I've expended during the day when I come to the realization that it's only 1 mile to the back fence line. Drat. Ah well, the beaters are licked. And my jeans still fit.

The skiers. We finally hear from them at 7:45. They are just getting into the truck after having a blast all day. Nolan was braving the moguls...time to go home! Seeing as how they're 2 hours away we decide the cake will happen without them.

Avrie falls off the couch and her arm is "loose." This is a serious matter that calls for a delicious distraction. Cut into the ugly thing. The first slice falls apart. The second as well. The third - the side falls off. The verdict? While unstable...it's certainly delicious. It's almost pretty. It's not too rich, not too sweet; it's just about right. Not unlike this life I'm living. Life is hard work. It's the most time consuming thing we'll ever do. There's instability. But, at the end of the day--it's just about right.

~Frazzled and Settled and Content~

*I say this to sound like I have some inkling to what it means to be a country girl. When, in reality, I drove a tractor once and never did farm chores. Instead, I read my way through the local library and religiously tanned in front of a fan next to the pool while drinking copious amounts of Crystal Light. In retrospect I think I was spoiled. Granted, this only lasted until I was old enough to get a job. But, still. Oh, and let's not forget the angst over that boy and that boy and this boy and that other boy. There was always that. Sigh. Oh, and I had my daily list from Mom: MT DW. W into D. I still struggle with finding joy in dishes and laundry. It's gotta be there.

**In my defense - mayo smeared all over the table is not fun to clean off. And it stinks. Gross.

***Scored me a Wilton caddy at Unique for $2.42. That's a savings of roughly $13. Go me.

****The last cup of tea I drank was in the shower. Why? Mommy was at the end of her rope. Turns out a scalding shower and a cup of double-bagged tea (the kind that will empty me in 12 hours - to make me feel in control/complete/whole/sane*.) savored until the hot water runs out is a delightful thing. I may have locked a child or two downstairs. My memory is a bit fuzzy. This was the same day that I might have said "she's being a brat...you can hit her back." But, like I said, my memory is a bit fuzzy. So, don't go calling CPS or anything. Cuz I could totally be making that up. *Admitting there's a problem is the first step to recovery. Or something. I'm aware. And I'm okay. Most of the time. It's a big ugly monster but most often I can punch back.

It's been 10.

2011-01-06T12:30:00.004-06:00

Ten years. And I'm still a bit flustered around this boy. It's always a bit unnerving to me when there's a perfect song. The ones that express exactly what you're feeling. It almost feels like an invasion of privacy. This song was it when we were dating. Now I feel like this one*...absolutely. Quite often when we're trying to fall asleep I say "I can't believe I live with a boy." He's for sure the very best thing that's ever been mine. There's no doubt that I'm only up when he's not down. And I'm only me when I'm with him. I definitely need his grace to remind me to find my own. I'm a love sick crackhead. We're stuck like glue. It's so clear now that he's all that I have.

Anyone else but him...not happenin'. I could go on, and on...we'll leave it on this note. Or maybe a bit of this fanfare...you'll be singin' this all day. And a good sense of humor...because maturity is overrated. We can all stand to be as literal as Adam Sandler.

Say Hey...he's the only one.

*GAH! Note to self: watch videos in their entirety before posting. Sorry, parents. It even made me uncomfortable!! Sheesh. This was linked to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream. Look it up if you so desire. Be forewarned.

"Mommy? What can I do to be more beautiful?"

2010-12-12T19:07:00.004-06:00

"Do these old lady shoes make me more beautiful?" Uhh, first - they're not 'old lady' shoes. And, Darling? You don't need to do anything to be more beautiful. You just ARE.

"But, Mommy? YOU wear these shoes!" Uh-huh. I'm NOT old. Thanks.

My rosy-cheeked-pizza-makin'-Beauty wearing a shirt two sizes too big because she likes what it says: Color Me Happy.

Peek into the Future

2010-12-07T08:27:00.001-06:00

Don't knock the cord. Retro is cool.

Quiet Reflection

2010-12-02T13:40:00.008-06:00

In an effort to identify with myself I've reread this list and this list again. I've changed a lot. Maybe this is a sign of maturity. I hope not. For instance, I no longer want to be #3. Now I'd settle for pretty much what I am with a little more balance. I've rexamined #15 over the last year and have come to realize that it means something different for me. I do suffer...my emotions are a mess and all I want to do is wine. I mean, whine. #22 - I threw another one in the dumpster in the dark of the night about 3 months ago. I cried. A lot. But, you know what? I'm so happy. Nothing determines my happiness in the morning but me. I like to tell myself this was a big sacrifice in the name of good health...when in reality I have access at the Y. Hmmm. #97 - It's now my favorite cuisine. Proof that our taste buds change every 7 years. We hit our local Thai joint very, very often. They know us all by name and it feels so wonderful. I went in today and wanted something that wasn't on the menu. They made it for me anyway. 100 - I've gotten over this hurdle. I love feeding people. #4 - This is really what I set out intending to talk about in this post. This sounds like pure misery. My thoughts lately are a bit out of balance. A bit on tastes: nam pla prik pbon is the perfect balance of sweet, salty, spicy, sour. If it's too much of either it's not very palatable. I won't go into where my thoughts are off balance but a silent retreat would be pure torture. To be alone with all that's rolling around in my head and not have anything to distract myself with...ugh! Instead, I'd like to be a two-year-old again. No thought but for the minute. No stress. Not really an expectation. Sounds blissful. Like my baby up there. It makes my heart ache to watch him sleep and wonder what's in store for him. Pain I won't be able to heal, battles I won't get to fight. 70 - 71 - If you know me well...I'm curious to know how I come across? I'm still not sure. 78 - This is still true. I don't know why it's so hard for me. There are currently 6 loads waiting to be put away. 88 - Thanks to BPump I'm back in heels. Love. 93 - It's by far the most disgusting thing in my house. So, so gross.

And then there's this conversation. Made me laugh...again.

And these photos. Which made me swoon.

And this. Which is a great appetite suppressant.

And this video. Which is beyond great.

"Remember only the most important things...the rest is optional!"

2010-12-01T22:02:00.006-06:00

This has got to be one of my favorite pictures of Nolan (2). There's just so much going on! You've got a week...give me a winning caption and I send you a bag.

Fine Print: I kinda sorta have to know who you are. No strangers. This is not a "get more readers" contest. This is a "I love the readers I have" contest.

I've had fun scrolling through the memories the last couple days. How about this golf-related memory?

Give Away!

2010-11-30T14:04:00.003-06:00

You like? It's yours. Somehow. I've yet to figure out a method for picking a recipient. I'll get on that.

Darling Baby.

2010-11-05T14:24:00.004-05:00

Mr. Cole has found himself a new favorite reading spot. Can't find Cole? Check downstairs. Chances are he's nestled into Gomer. Chances are also pretty good he's reading Tonka Truck books. This morning he must have been feeling a bit soft around the edges. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the fact that his favorite activity as of late is playing dress-up with his sister.

Just Call Me 'Bag Lady'

2010-11-05T14:08:00.003-05:00

My sink looks like this:

Because I'm having too much fun making fabulous things like this:

Now that I've worked the kinks out of the gathered bag (fondly named 'Batik Threw Up On My Bag) don't you think it would look fantastic in pinks and purples for Alayna (and Joel...maybe he needs a masculine bag) and their new DARLING twin girls?? Fabric store...here I come!

"Your house is always perfection", she said.

2010-10-29T15:02:00.005-05:00

I got a text this morning from someone. She had this scary idea for me. Take pictures of my house as-is. And post them. Oh, the horrors. I did NOT want to do that. Then she replies with "In my mind your house is always perfection." I'm always up for proving someone wrong. (Yes, that suitcase on my bedroom floor is from two weekends ago. Judge away.) Good old human nature prevails:

As all you mothers know, the outcome below will last approximately 1 hour. Maybe a bit more if there are children missing from the home. All three of our rugrats will be spending the night at their Great Auntie's tonight so I will get to enjoy my clean house for a bit! Whooohoo!

Inspire me

2010-10-27T14:34:00.002-05:00

The time of year is approaching where it's easy to waste away hours in front of the computer. My posts have been severely lacking. I think I used to be interesting and/or amusing. Now I only post if I can manage to take a cute picture of my children. Yay. Thrilling. I've been enjoying Lani's posts but really don't think I could commit to answering some of those questions! Sooo, on a whim I'm leaving it up to my readers. Those of you who are left. What should I write about?

Bought myself a present today with my birthday gift cards. Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything. I'm psyched. I'll dig up some spare time somewhere in the next 10 years to read it.
Avrie is currently throwing a massive fit of rage because I won't buy her an Ariel beauty salon setup.
Nolan refused to participate in Wacky Wednesday at school today. Anyone else have kids who think such things are ridiculous? I had to practically pay him to wear his pajamas to school last year.
Cole will randomly throw out full sentences. Other than "owwie, ow and no" he has no language. Aside from those full sentences. Did I mention those? "I don't know. I'll be right back." But, he's pretty darned stinkin' cute. He manages to get his way 99% of the time because I'm a sucker. Sure, I'll spank his behind if he's being naughty...but it's followed by kisses. Hmmm...not sure it's so effective that way.

See how much I need inspiration? Zzzzz. I even put myself to sleep.

Dressin' it up!

2010-10-14T17:59:00.002-05:00

The best holiday of the year is fast approaching! Well, it was always my favorite holiday. Dressing up to get free candy? Can't get much better than that! Avrie is set on Cinderella, Nolan is going to be a scientist and Cole is up for whatever his mother finds. Unless he decides to talk and tell us. So here's the rundown of previous years:

Nolan, 1 - Pea pod

Nolan, 2 - Cowboy

Nolan, 3 - Bumble Bee

Avrie, 1 - Ladybug

Nolan, 4 - Eyore

Avrie, 2 - Fairy

Nolan, 5 - Box Monster

Avrie, 3 - Ariel

Cole, 1 - Himself

What are your offspring dressing up as this year? Favorites from years past? Ideas for my wee one?

Soul Food

2010-10-14T17:54:00.002-05:00

So, so many wonderful thoughts. I don't know where to begin. I think I'll just flip through my notes and bullet the things that really struck a chord.

The smallness of quietness is big.

We don't have to run home and read Galations 5 to see all the things we need to be. Just trust God and he'll put those things into us.

What destroys fellowship? When we slip something in that isn't of God.

If we keep our testimonies to ourselves they have x-value. If we share it with others it's much more valuable.

Man can make waves but God moves the tide.

Feeding of God's people is miraculous but not dramatic.

When we pray for others we need to be content without knowing the outcome or seeing the prayer answered. Have faith that God will do in His time.

If royalty doesn't act with dignity, it's revolting.

The way up is the way down and the way down is the way up.

Seek him early. God can do miracles at the last minute but, oh, so much better if we seek him early.

The raven nature. It's not hard to find the raven in someone else but very difficult to see it in ourselves. A sign of progress when we see it. Gen 8:6-8 - God included the raven in salvation. 1 Kings 17:4-6 - God commanded the raven to do something against its nature. God puts something stronger than our selfish human nature in us and gives us the strength to do what is against our nature. Regarding our nature: we may be born that way but we don't have to die that way.

Sometimes it seems like our prayers aren't effective - it's not because they aren't long enough - they need to be deeper.

God is faithful whether we believe it or not. But whether we believe it or not determines our outcome.

We'll be saying one of two things on Judgement Day: "I almost missed it" or "I just missed it."

God has entrusted us with a little baby Jesus. Take care of Him or we are a child neglecter. We may not be on the front page of the paper but we may not be in eternity either.

If you could go to college or read Proverbs but could only do one - read Proverbs.

Wise and Foolish Virgins - the oil represents submission.

Let us be so familiar with the genuine that we recognize the counterfeit.

How many ways can you follow one man?

If we're praying but also feeding the human we're just creating conflict.

Regardless of how we wrap ourselves our substance will come out.

God's way will function outside of liberty. We can always pray.

When the going gets tough the tenderhearted get steadfast.

Our life will be poured out toward something - let the Lord pick up the flask and pour out the wine so that it's poured out toward the Kingdom.

We're all dust. So why do we feel like our little pile of dust is better than your little pile of dust?

So, I'm just realizing that this list is super, duper long when I get to this note: Convention thoughts can be very overwhelming - just pick one thing to do.

Sibling Love - Let it Last!

2010-09-25T19:08:00.003-05:00

Happy Birthday, Baby Cole(y)

2010-08-24T15:06:00.003-05:00

Head-over-heels in love with this little bugger. He is the sweetest thing. After the kids go to bed at night we like to talk about them. In regards to Cole it's always, "he's just so sweet." And it's true. Occasionally, "he's just so stinkin' cute." Today he is TWO. TWO = STINKER.

We love, love, love you, Baby.

Happy Belated #4, Avrie!

2010-08-24T14:36:00.005-05:00

Darling Daughter has been a 4-year-old for two weeks. If there was any question of her girlishness before there is none now. There is still a small glimmer of tomboy but it's being smothered by a full-blown princess. Boys. Lipstick. Dresses. Dolls. "I just don't like playing tag. I don't like running around and getting all sweaty."

I think I'm coming around to the idea that she's just like me. Oh boy.

Love you, Beautiful.

Snapshots of Summer - Part 2

2010-07-27T21:35:00.002-05:00

Clockwise: Driving -- Boys -- Ms. Cheeky Forgot Her Swimsuit -- Point -- Gaze -- Refresh -- Slippery -- Darling

Snapshots of Summer - Part 1

2010-07-20T09:56:00.002-05:00

Burnsville Waterpark with our Grandma and cousins. Followed by the requisite DQ.

Tootin' My Own Horn

2010-07-19T21:04:00.003-05:00

Y Lazyman Triathlon: 6 Weeks - 112 cycle miles, 26.2 run/walk miles, 12.5 row

I did: 160 cycle, 60 run/walk, 13.5 row

This was indeed a "lazyman." I feel like it held me accountable to get to the Y but in reality I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done anyway except for the rowing. Which, as it turns out, I strongly dislike. Obviously. Really going overboard there.

I'm not the type for the real deal. I don't think. But, I can see myself doing something much more challenging. Say, walking across the U.S. (simulated) in a summer. Or something like that. Or possibly getting certified to teach cycle. Eeek. I don't feel "in shape" enough to take that plunge.

I had my husband take pictures of the shirt. He thought 'shirt' meant butt.

See this little man?

2010-07-11T20:52:00.005-05:00

He's darling, right? Good thing. Last night:

1:00 am - He's up wanting attention. I lay by him for 15 minutes before tiring of eye jabs and the like. Tell him to go. to. sleep. Go to sleep myself.

1:38 am - Awake to a noise. Check out the boy's room. Cole is missing. Hear a noise from the living room. He had helped himself to a cup and a half gallon of almond milk from the fridge. He has his cup on the couch and is trying to figure out how to get the screw cap off the carton. He has also turned the computer on. For light, maybe? Meanwhile, the fridge door is wide open. I give him a cupful that he downs like he's been wandering in the desert for 30 days. I retrieve his pillow and blanket and firmly put him in the port-a-crib that is in our room for my daycare baby. Go back to sleep.

See this beauty?

Precious, right? Good thing. The night continues:

1:52 am - Avrie starts screaming. Bad dream. I get her a drink and tuck her back in. Go back to sleep myself.

2:12 am - Wake to Avrie climbing in my bed. Too tired to fight it.

sometime after that - Nolan's peeing. Loud enough to wake the entire house. Aside from Cole, Avrie and Evan. Go back to sleep. Again.

The Real Morning - Wake with more wrinkles than yesterday and eye bags big enough they'd need to be checked at the airport.

Mid-Week Musings

2010-06-30T11:52:00.006-05:00

I've made one or two half-hearted attempts to get a good 6-year-old shot of Nolan to distribute to family and friends. This is not made easy with a cheeseball son. This is the only one that comes remotely close to capturing Nolan. And there are flamingos flocking out of his head.

Avrie was pretty out of sorts last week. She fell asleep on the stairs at 9:30 in the morning. I was afraid she'd startle and fall down the stairs. Nolan and Cole just went around her...she was oblivious.

After a long, long week without Daddy we attempted a family fun outing on Sunday afternoon. We went to Como Zoo. What a zoo. It made me panicky and claustrophobic. We didn't stay very long. Seriously, could hardly move through the masses of stinky, sweaty, grumpy humanity. I remember why I love Como in the school year on a Tuesday morning. Because we're the only ones there. Almost.

The kid's fantastic Great Auntie picked them up this morning to take them on an outing. This left me with 90 minutes of free time. What do you do with 90 minutes to yourself? Mani/Pedi? Coffee break? Novel? Me: I hauled out as fast as I could. I removed everything from the van, drove to the car wash and vacuumed and windexed the entire thing. Washed it. Drove 10 minutes to a specialty store to pick up two bottles of my perfume oil. Stopped on the way home at the nursery to pick up another tomato plant and two more peppers at 50% off. Picked up the yard so I could mow later today. Cleaned up the breakfast dishes. End of 90 minutes. I feel so accomplished. You have no idea how gross our van was. Yeah, the same van I was going to keep clean forever. Haha.

I haven't listened to country music in years. This song may have just redeemed the genre for me. Love it. It's one of those feel-good-lovin'-life songs. I first heard it in cycle class. Which I'm addicted to. I plan my life around group cycle. Feelin' down? Group cycle, baby. Speaking of which:

Met a lady at cycle this week. She's run 63 regular marathons and 16 ultra marathons (41 miles). She's 53. Just a wee bit of inspiration there. Uf-da. Not that I want to run marathons or anything. Just hope to be that active when I'm 53.

My darling Cole baby has horrid eczema. Last week it was bleeding he was scratching so much. He's on day 7 of zero dairy to see if that's the culprit. It doesn't appear to be. I'll try eliminating gluten next week and see if that's it. Otherwise I'm assuming it's heat, humidity and nature triggers. I hate seeing him miserable.

I'm currently "growing" kombucha, kvass, water kefir and coconut kefir. I'm a little afraid to leave home this weekend for fear that my cupboard will blow up from all the fermentation!

Have a fantastic 4th weekend! We will...big family campout extravaganza coming right up!

Vocab? Who needs it?

2010-06-25T09:30:00.002-05:00

Cole's Vocabulary: Mama. One single word. That's it. To be honest I've enjoyed him staying a baby so much longer than the other two. Thing is...we know he can talk. He's a smart little bugger and knows if he starts spewing the language that he'll be held accountable for things. In the van the other night:

Evan: Cole, can you talk? Can you say banana?

Cole: *laughs* Banana.

Us: *flabbergasted*

Evan: Can you say it again, Cole?

Cole: *shrieks hysterically* Banana.

Us: *shake our heads*

Let me emphasize that it wasn't baby babble "banana". It was banana clear as a bell. Every sound made clearly. Stinker.

Cozy Cousins

2010-06-22T08:44:00.002-05:00

Successfully Spoiled Six-year-old!

2010-06-08T11:14:00.002-05:00

A belated shout out to Nolan! He turned the big SIX on June, 4. We had a park birthday party planned but got rained out so the party was at our house...worked fine aside from the fact that pictures do NOT turn out at ALL in our living room. Horrid lighting. So, this photo is an accurate description of Nolan and how happy he is at SIX! I can't believe it. He got so many awesome presents:

Metal detector! A child sized version. He's wanted one for two years.
Remote control ATV. He's also wanted this for ages.
Nerf gun with laser sight. He LOVES this. As does Cole. Many Nerf fights have gone down.
Books.
National Geographic Kids subscription.
Your Big Backyard subscription.
Solar system and constellations model.
Cool shirts and shorts.
Crayons and markers. Can never have too many of those.
Juggling balls and instructional DVD.
Scooter.
Bike horn.
Electric pencil sharpener. He's wanted this for a long time. Our pencils have never been sharper.

3-day Weekend - Day 3

2010-05-31T19:46:00.003-05:00

Automatic coffee pot started dripping at 6:15.
Drank my coffee and read my bible.
Went for an hour run.
Made the best pancakes ever for my family. Bacon on the side.
Packed our picnic lunch and loaded up the van.
Went fishing. Evan caught a nice sized largemouth bass!
Came home for Cole's nap. Dad cleaned up the fish.
Went to Unique for 50% off. Didn't stay long...too many bodies and not enough air.
Stopped by DQ. Cherry dipped cones for the kids, strawberry Golden Oreo and French Silk Pie for Evan and I.
Came home and got bikes. Went to the trail. Hit the park afterwards.
Fried up the fish. Was fantastic.
Kids bathed, brushed, bedded.
Parents sit down. Unfortunately, Evan is sitting in his office doing paperwork.
The end.
Back to the daily grind in the a.m.

3-day Weekend - Day 1

2010-05-29T21:13:00.005-05:00

Donuts for breakfast.
Late morning drive to the garden center for dirt, mulch, sod. We rode in the pickup...picture perfect: three kids in back, windows open, wife snuggled up to husband.
Scrambled eggs and salmon wraps for lunch.
Filled in the fire pit and laid sod.
Bought myself this little present. It was 50% off. And includes 4 free hours of lessons.
Replanted carrots. Hoed weeds.
Big kids and Dad went fishing.
Cole napped 4 hours. Mom 1/2 hour. Read book.
Made asparagus lasagna for supper.
Mulched.
Checked on the baby bird multiple times.
Watermelon face with green nose slugs.
Haircuts.
Exhaustion.
Perfect day.

Glorious Backyard Garden

2010-05-01T15:15:00.006-05:00

We planted some of the garden today. Evan built me two new beds this year. We put up fence to keep the kids out. They're worse than bunnies! Crossing my fingers the frost is gone for good.

Yet to come: basil, parsley, cilantro, thyme, lemongrass, mint, bell peppers, romaine, kale. This is what we planted today:

Mesclun lettuce mix, swiss chard, pole beans, carrots, spinach, beets, carrots. *Not pictured - brussel sprouts, roma tomato, cherry tomato

View from the side door.

Top bed is carrots and beets, middle bed is greens, closest bed is tomatoes and will include most of the herbs.

Pole beans along the fence, brussel sprouts in the bed (I slightly crowded them...), peppers will be in the bed, lemongrass in the big green pot.

Dear Tooth Fairy

2010-04-25T22:21:00.003-05:00

My baby lost a tooth and turned into a giant KID. Nolan has been holding tight to this tooth for the last week. He was determined to save it for Friday so Grandma could see it come out. Friday came and went. Saturday was a whirlwind of a super amazing fun day with friends that involved Ben Franklin, Cat & Canary whistles, grinding wheat, roasting coffee beans, looking at pictures from H's time in Haiti, name switching with friends, eating scallops, coffee ice cream and homemade chocolate coconut marshmallows. There just wasn't time for that tooth to come out. Sunday comes with special company and our dear medical student joined us for supper. He volunteered, with a little shove from me, to extract the tooth. A little floss, a little pull and my baby grew up. A little notice would have been nice. Unfortunately, the Tooth Fairy was out of bubblegum. But, she did have $2 and a note that said "buy your own." She's a little sassy.

My Target Field Review

2010-04-21T10:45:00.003-05:00

I'm not much for sports, #72.

Evan and I went to the new stadium last night...a date. Zzzzzzzz. I'll admit the stadium is pretty sweet. Awesome, in fact. We saw birds and helicopters and planes and bugs. Whoooeeeee! The baseball? They won. Neither team scored a single point in the last 6 innings. B-o-r-i-n-g. So, I had lots of time to people watch and analyze the fans around me. My findings:

Father and son directly in front of us. Each had 9 beers. Around #5 they both forgot all words except variations of the F-bomb. They spent $64 on seats and at least $72 on beer.
Kid next to me. Belated clapper. So weird. He was underage and his Dad kept giving him drinks of his beer.
Girl behind me. Looked like she'd taped spiders to her eyelids. Evidently didn't understand proper mascara application.
Multiple people with 'TC' tattoos. Really? Dumb.
Women over the age of 50 trying to look under the age of 30. Not cute.
Couple in front of us that left during the first inning because they couldn't fit in their seats.
People taking pictures of themselves watching the game more often than actually watching the game.

April thus far....

2010-04-21T10:23:00.002-05:00

Nolan found a bunny nest. Fortunately, something else found it first. This darling baby bunny is resting forever. His sibling was outside the nest and seemed to have lost his head.
Dark Reese's s'mores.
Sibling pulling sibling tractor wagon rides.
Park play with Grandma and Grandpa.
Snuggles with our newest baby girl cousin.
Endless bike rides and park trips.

Avrie-isms

2010-04-12T17:20:00.002-05:00

There has been an endless stream of hilarity from Avrie the last week. Here's a sampling of what I remember:

"Mom, I'm blinking my eyes at Nolan because I looovee him. Minnie blinks her eyes at Mickey."

Opening a Bible: "I was reading in chapter 2. And. All of a sudden my brother walked in my room and I cut off his face. But, I didn't eat it. Because that would be bad. Amen."

Supper prayer: "We're thankful for ourselves. We're thankful for our food. We're thankful for our pizza. Yum, yum, yum, amen."

"I don't like Wyatt cuz he picks on me." Two seconds later: "Wyatt! Pick on me! Pick on me!"

She's had the inclination as of late to replace Jesus with other words in "Tell me the Story". Such as meatballs. That is a favorite. I was having yet another conversation with her about how it's disrespectful and we need to leave the song about Jesus. Her next refrain? "Tell me the story of Jesus, ......*whispering*.....and meatballs too, write on my heart............"

Imp, 19-months +

2010-04-06T11:45:00.003-05:00

Took Cole in for a late well-check this morning. I left the stats at the office but he was 95% for height, 90% for weight and 50-75% for head size. Everything was just fine. Doc isn't concerned with his thumb-sucking or lack of language.

On another note....so thankful for the rain. My house was getting filthy. It seems like the only time it gets cleaned spring, summer & fall is when it rains.

Does anyone know a good source for writing prompts? Trying to get excited about this bloggy thing again but getting mighty tired of just posting pictures with captions. I used to be more interesting! At least I think. Hmmm. Maybe not.

I'm so thankful for my foodie friends. I adore you all. I'm very, very sad for these folks. The possibility of a factory farm being built very close to their home makes me cry. I hate our government. I'm leaning towards becoming a food activist. Watch for me in the pickets.

We've been busy burning out the stump in our backyard. While the bonfire is fun...it's too stressful for me. I'm looking forward to planting grass.

Jet-Black season is just about here. Cross your fingers for us that it's a good year.

Can't wait to get my daycare family back...we miss them! Plus, we're getting A BABY! I'm so excited. He may get just a bit spoiled because all I'll want to do is hold him!

All you crafty folks out there are inspiring me. I bought a few things to make a couple cute scarves I was lusting over at the mall. Need to blow the dust off my machine. A good rainy day activity, eh?

I'm currently reading a book that I'm head-over-heels in love with. I don't want it to end. I want to be best friends with the author. Wait...I think I actually want to be her. Look for it in the book reviews soon. Unfortunately. It's that delightful. If you're a foodie.

I miss this. I wonder how many readers I've lost in my lull?

Farewell to Baby Cole

2010-03-27T14:46:00.002-05:00

Our darling Cole has jumped headfirst into the Terrible Two's. He's just a bit early. Cole has definitely stayed a "baby" much, much longer than Nolan or Avrie. He has changed almost overnight. Yesterday was the very first day that he's shown flat-out defiance and meant it. His cute little tantrums have turned into the embarrassing kind. His sweet, easy going demeanor has been replaced by a very determined and strong-willed little bugger. He refuses to eat anything unless he's the one holding the utensil. Last night at the Y Easter Party he threw himself on the floor in a rage because Evan was trying to open a piece of candy for him. He grabbed it furiously and shoved the whole thing in his mouth wrapper and all. Which resulted in a larger tantrum because it didn't taste good. Imagine that. He refuses to be rocked, doesn't like to be carried and pouts if he even hears you thinking the word "no." Oh, where did my baby go? Despite the challenges, I love this stage. And my darling non-baby.

First Spring Picnic

2010-03-24T10:34:00.001-05:00

Spring Break - Day 1

2010-03-16T09:45:00.010-05:00

Nolan's spring break is this week. We're milking it for all it's worth. This Mommy Bus is loving the break. And it's only Day 2. We're heading out shortly for Iowa...but here's yesterday:

Little Miss Independent sashaying her way to the wolves at Como Zoo.

MOM. Seriously. STOP. I just want to look at the animals.

Our favorite stop...the play room in the Conservatory.

Grape juice mustache, anyone?

Zookeeper Avrie heading to feed whatever animal eats carrots. She gave them to the tiger and got corrected by a little boy.

Isn't this just the happiest picture ever?! It makes my feet happy.

Nolan working on his skillz. Round and round the driveway with a few stops at the neighbor's garage to see what he's working on.

Loving her Cinderella bike.

This is what my spring break looks like. Well, until I made plans to head to Iowa. Now it will include none of this. Who wants to read a book when we've got REAL ADULT CONVERSATION?!?! So excited.

Photo of Spring

2010-03-10T18:15:00.003-06:00

Parents: Any tips for dealing with obscene writing and drawings on porta-potty walls? A small can of spray paint in the purse? Having children who can read is very alarming.

On the upside: It's ALMOST PARK SEASON! And we're just giddy about it. We got the kids' bikes out Sunday for the first time this year.

That White Dress

2010-02-24T11:02:00.006-06:00

The dress fits. It zips. I can breathe. Just like the day I wore it. This is proof that numbers are just that. Numbers. I weigh approximately 15 pounds more today than I did January 6, 2001. I'm mostly okay with that. The normal part of me knows that's okay. But there's the eating disorder part that whispers so subtly - but so very loudly - that the number needs to be lower.

It's Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

Be aware.

Exercise addiction and eating disorders often go hand in hand. Most of me is completely recovered from the eating. I can do mind over matter for the most part. I hit the gym 25 days out of 31 in January. While most would consider this healthy - it's teetering on the line of obsession for me. It's caused me to pull out that dreaded scale again. The one I bought after I threw the other one out 7 years ago. The number determines the mood for the day. When asked what you would have if you could have anything for an entire day, what would you want? Me - I'd want to not think about my body, weight or food one single time in 24 hours. I'd want to be comfortable in my skin. Just even for a minute.

Boy Catchers

2010-02-24T08:48:00.003-06:00

I really, really, really don't like getting my hair combed. But my Mom curled her hair super beautiful yesterday just special for my Dad. But he had to work extra late after my Mom was already sleeping so he didn't even get to see it. And my Mom only curls her hair once every 6 years. Anyway. I thought that curling iron thing was pretty awesome. So I let my Mom give me beautiful hair this morning before it was even breakfast time. Don't my curly pigtails just look fabulous?

Mom says maybe not with my finger up my nose.

My Dad doesn't have a gun. But if he did...he should polish it.

My Baby. Is gone. Long gone.

2010-02-23T22:35:00.005-06:00

Can you believe I terrorize my big bro and sis? Impossible. I never, ever steal Avrie's blanket and run away squealing with glee. I never, ever, ever knock over Nolan's block towers and run away squealing with glee. Nuh-uh. No way. Like my Dagwood hair? My Mom cut it after this Tea Party. I wasn't supposed to be sitting on the table. Usually, I get a swat on my cute little thighs but Mom apparently thought it was cute this time.

Look at me! I think this is the first time I'm eating a cookie fresh from the oven. My Mom only makes them in her spare time. Which is almost never.

Awwwwwwe. I know. I really can't get over how cute my wittle fingers are either.

Life is good.

Conversation with the Twerps

2010-02-23T14:38:00.002-06:00

Mom: What should we get Daddy for his birthday, guys?

Avrie: A shirt and pants and underwear! (Very enthusiastic!)

Nolan: Nooo!! We should get him something more exciting than that.

Avrie: Like a big, black Daddy necklace!

Nolan: Or a wig!

Mom: What kind of cake do you think he'd like?

Avrie: Superman!!

Nolan: No, a knife cake. Like the knife he takes to work.

2010-02-18T21:28:00.002-06:00

I promise to post something substantial* soon. I'm just a titch busy living life at the present. I just had to post this link. In case any of you are emotionally stunted like me and need a good cry. I had snot pouring out of my nose. Nice image, no?

*The link is substantial. Very much so.

Avrie's Beary Fun Weekend!

2010-01-12T21:13:00.004-06:00

Meet Ted E. Bear! He came home with Avrie from school on Friday. He spends the weekends with the kids and they write up a little report on how they spent their time. Avrie certainly had a blast with Ted.

Friday - - We got home from school and played with Grandma Char. She read us lots of books and played Fairy House. After she went home we packed our overnight bags for a sleepover at Great Aunt Cindy's apartment. We went swimming, had pizza, cupcakes, root beer floats and spent the night.

Saturday - - Grandma Gwen and Grandpa Vernon were at our house when we got home from Cindy's! Grandma, Mom, Ted and I went to a baby shower. I put Ted in the corner and played dress up the whole time. We were just walking out the door to leave when I remembered poor Ted. I had two cupcakes at the shower. One for Ted. They were pink and delicious.
On the way home we stopped at Trader Joe's. We found Doodle-Doo and got a treat. Then we went to Costco and got samples. And some other stuff.
Then we snuggled and played games and watched Stuart Little for the rest of the day.

Sunday - - We went to church meeting. Ted was very good. Better than me. He sat still. I didn't. Then we drove around looking for a place for lunch. Grandpa was hungry for pizza. We went to Broadway and had sauerkraut pork pizza and chicken/ham/pineapple/bacon on white sauce. I ate two bites. And was starving when we got home. Imagine that. I think my Mom has taken over this commentary.

Monday - - We ran errands with Mom. Real important ones like going to three grocery stores to find ground cardamom to make some special cookies for my good friend who has a birthday this month. We went to the Y too but Mom made me leave Ted E. in the van. Something about losing him. As if!
Monday nights are bible history class nights. My mom was trying to do way too many things at once without Daddy home to help and my poor little brother pushed a chair up and put his wee little precious hand on the super duper hot pancake griddle. He cried and cried and cried for two whole hours with only a few little breaks. So, Dad, Nolan, Ted and I put on our jammies and went to bible history class without Mom and Cole. I sat with my birthday friend at the class. She liked my pink bracelet and I told Mom she needs one for a present because she doesn't have her own. Oh, my brother is fine. He just has some blisters. He forgot about it when he woke up in the morning.

The End. Except for the cute pictures of me. And Ted.

"Will You Marry Me, Daddy?"

2010-01-09T21:42:00.006-06:00

Avrie's new favorite activity is "wedding." While she does have an Ariel wedding gown, this particular ceremony called for Snow White. Her favorite husband? Daddy.

Snow, Snow, Snow, Snow!

2009-12-29T12:59:00.012-06:00

We sure loved having Daddy home for 5 days. I'm not crazy enough to take the kids sledding by myself. Whew. When I went sledding as a kid my dad would pick us up at the bottom of the hill with the snowmobile and take us back to the top.

Uh, Mom? I can't move. At all. But it's SO MUCH FUN!

Isn't this just darling?!

Nolan insists on helping shovel. Even if the snow is heavier than him.

All our present opening pictures are pretty fuzzy and repetitive. Besides, who really likes to look at those aside from the parents? Avrie is wearing her new Ariel wedding gown and writing in her new princess notebook with her Hello Kitty push crayon pencil thing. It was a happy day.

An awesome photo and some bullets.

2009-12-26T22:00:00.002-06:00

This picture is currently my absolute favorite. It makes me laugh every single time.
I feel like I could go on and on and on but other areas of my life need the energy.
Viola - - you get to read super lame posts.
We've had a fun few days off. Sledding, food, lazying, new toys, blabbity blab.
I'm sure there are more cute pictures on the camera...but you might just have to wait another month for a post.
By the way....is there anyone that reads this that DOESN'T also have facebook?

Turkey Lurky Yummy Tummy!

2009-11-27T16:22:00.010-06:00

[Insert some diddy here that acknowledges that I'm a blog flunkee. Throw in some excuse about Facebook being easier and more rewarding.]

I'm baaaaack! As you can see, I've been absent for some time. See above. I have managed to keep my booklist updated and I've read some real quality stuff these days. And some pure fluff as well. Life needs balance.

Since I've last posted:

My kids have challenged me.
They've said funny stuff. Constantly.
If it weren't for the amazingness that is the YMCA, my butt would have taken on the shape of the van seat. Call me Mommy Bus.
I've had fun, fun times with friends.
Oh, I had a very mild case of shingles and a whopper sinus infection.
Nolan had the oinker flu (diagnosed by me) and didn't pass it on to the rest of us.

Which brings us up to current things I think. We came to The Farm Tuesday afternoon and are here through Sunday. Food, food, food, kitties, kitties, kitties.

This is Big Daddy. He's made his moves on Mama Kitty. Her tummy's getting quite round. He robbed the cradle, too. She's hardly full grown.

My Manly Husband keeping the wood box filled so we can stay cozy and warm in the house.

Like Father, Like Son. After Turkey Naps.

Hand & Foot. I lost. I have an excuse. A 15-month one.

Here he is! He's a bit under the weather. Loves his thumb and belly button. Together. Doesn't so much like one without the other. Makes zipup pj's a hindrance. As are onesies or overalls.

Found Mom's old comic book stash. Life is good.

A doll even though he's a bit 'off.'

Familiar Scenes

2009-10-08T10:24:00.006-05:00

Avrie has turned into a little mother hen. Her babies sleep all over the house and you'd better not wake them, move them, step over them, etc.

Cole's favorite place in the house is Avrie's bed. Looking for him? First place to check.

Hello!

Avrie-ism from yesterday:

Daddy: Who is the smartest one of all?
Avrie: Mommy.
Daddy: Who is the prettiest one of all?
Avrie: Me.

2009-09-22T12:01:00.005-05:00

With our crazy schedule, Cole has learned to grab sleep wherever convenient. Poor little guy.

This morning I woke up to the sound of buttons being pushed over and over again. Evan was hitting snooze but couldn't seem to figure it out. For a whole minute. He was evidently still sleeping. The time somehow gets changed so that it runs 35 minutes fast. We got an early start to the day.

Avrie had been complaining of her ankle hurting the past few days with nothing to show for it. Until this morning. It was swollen, hot and blistery. I freaked out about staph and ran her into urgent care with the parade in tow. She's on some hefty antibiotics for cellulitis.

We managed to make it to preschool only 10 minutes late! The rest of us ran to Target to get the prescription filled, home for a quick snack and kitchen cleanup and back to school to pick up Avrie. Home for lunch and kitchen cleanup. Cole is grabbing a quick nap before we leave to take Nolan to school. Then we'll come home so Klara can grab a quick nap before her Dad picks her up and then we'll be off to drop an application off at the Y and pick up Nolan. Home for supper and kitchen.....OH! Wait! I have a sushi date tonight with two of my girls!! YAY! Daddy can do supper and kitchen cleanup tonight! Wahoo!

2009-09-21T07:31:00.004-05:00

Avrie started preschool last Tuesday. I've been running like a headless chicken and just uploaded the pictures last night. She goes T & F for 2 hours and LOVES it. Her teachers have been teaching together for twenty years; the oldest one has been there thirty-seven years.

Like the foot?

Waiting patiently to hang up her awesome backpack.

Quick & Painless

2009-09-08T13:57:00.006-05:00

It went so fast I didn't have time to cry. Aside from a wee little heart throb I'm doing just fine. Two years of preschool has been good prep for me. Nolan has school in the afternoons from 1:20 - 4. I'm unsure what I'll be doing during this time period and can't wait for our schedule to find some sync. Avrie is having a blast being the BOSS.

2009-08-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

YUMMY!

2009-08-27T16:38:00.002-05:00

Our friends went out of town for the week and donated their CSA box to us! It's like Christmas opening that box! We got: swiss chard, fennel, sweet corn, various summer squash, kohlrabi, broccoli, string beans, several tomatoes, tomatillos, various peppers, beets and basil. We're eating well the next several days!

Avrie-isms

2009-08-27T15:35:00.002-05:00

I took Avrie and Cole in this morning for their yearly checkups. All is well with both. The NP was asking Avrie questions to get her to spill the family secrets. The conversation went something like this:

NP: Do you have a bike, Avrie?
A: Yep.
NP: Do you have a helmet? (Fishing for signs of irresponsible parent, I imagine.)
A: I have two. A bear one and a butterfly one.
NP: Do you like to play?
A: Yep. With kid stuff.
NP: What kind of kid stuff?
A: Swords.
Mom: What?!! (To my knowledge, they have never played swords. Hmmm...LORI?!)
NP: Swords?
A: Yeah. I fight with my brother. (Ahhh, that's true.)
NP: What kinds of foods do you like to eat, Avrie?
A: Pamatoes. (A cross between a potato and a tomato, perhaps?) And peppers. And chicken.
NP: Do you like fruit?
A: Yep. Fruit AND grapes.
NP: Do you drink milk?
A: Yep. I love chocolate milk.
Mom: *gulp* She really only drinks chocolate milk once a week. If that.
NP: Believe me...I'm impressed that she said "pepper". Chocolate milk is the least of my worries.

Ahhh, kids. Hil.ar.ious.

Party Pix

2009-08-27T15:03:00.017-05:00

Avrie had her eye on this party hat at Target for a few weeks.

Tortillas, taco meat, black beans, tomatoes, black olives, lettuce, cheese, mixed peppers, guacamole, salsa, hot sauce, sriracha, sour cream.

Corn cake, mini peppers & dip, fruit. There were chips somewhere too.

Peach cupcakes with brown sugar cream cheese frosting

German chocolate cake

I adore this picture. Just smiling at it. Best toy ever, Mom!

Gladys made sure he got every last bite! It was so nice to have her at the party. We have many wonderful memories of having her in our home.

Hmmm...what will we get? I mean, she.

Score!

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of Cole "opening" his gifts. The camera operator was slacking. The weather was wonderful, as were the guests!

Happy Birthday, Cole!

2009-08-24T20:51:00.005-05:00

Remember this tiny baby? I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I don't remember Cole being that small!

One!

Hmmm...what a fun toy, Mom! More party pictures tomorrow!

2009-08-16T21:32:00.006-05:00

We "camped" at the farm last night with Cheri & Farron and their adorable boys. Luckily, we had sense to move our tents into the shed...it poured buckets! Cole slept in the house with Grandma and Grandpa and they never heard a peep out of him. We left the kids behind and went on a double date to Lanesboro for locally grown/raised supper. This afternoon Cheri took our family pictures...awesome job!! The photos below are all her work. Got home after 8 tonight to a hot, muggy house. The A/C quit when we were gone. Again. Evan made a run for fuses. Really hoping that's all it is. Ugh. I'm in for a busy week....I'm exhausted already!

Cheri, this picture would win prizes. Maybe you should enter it in the local fair?! They were checking out a cricket that was short a leg.

Which one gets your vote?

p.s. If you want to see more trip pictures, join Facebook. I'm too lazy to get detailed posts up. It was a blast and we loved it and can't wait to go again. There ya have it!

Avrie, what would you like for your birthday?

2009-08-11T09:35:00.003-05:00

clothes
pretty hair stuff
princess pillowcase (but she doesn't even have a pillow...)
a big elephant
a baby elephant
a picture of water bottles
pictures of glasses
pictures of eyes (wahoo! related to me!)
pictures of harmonicas
pretty lights
eyebrows
kid books
nails. pretty nails.
hair

"What would be the absolute BEST present?"

a big kitty! *Awe. I kind of wish I was willing to put up with cat hair and litter boxes. Again. But I'm not.*

Happy 3rd Birthday, Princess Avrie!

2009-08-10T20:24:00.015-05:00

Off to the beach! In princess attire. Of course.

Pitstop at Target for treats and smoothies.

Bathing beauties. Rock on.

You want me to pose "nice", Mom? What's that mean?

Pink cookies. Those kind that melt in your mouth. They have 'evil' in the ingredients.

Mac & Cheese in bed for lunch.

To the park.

Trip Highlights -- Part 1

2009-08-07T07:02:00.008-05:00

I know, I know. We've been back almost a week and I'm just now getting around to sharing some pictures of our trip. We had a fun, fun, fun time! The weather was perfect, buffalo abundant, kids were good travelers, no mishaps. I'll divide these by major attractions or this will take way too long. First up: Wall Drug. I have no idea what I thought this place would be. A little old fashioned drug store with ice cream in the back? Yeah, not so much. Crazy place. The kids loved it. I think I kind of did too. It sure was better than the lousy Corn Palace.

Wall Drug is a kid's dream. Nolan has had his heart set on a cork gun for ages. Well, what do you know? W.D. has everything.

Umpteen million things for the kids to sit on/in/by.

Cutest cowboy I've ever laid eyes on. And I saw plenty being we were in the Wild West.

I think this ridiculous thing is a bit famous. It was just a smidgen fun to sit on.

Ladies man.

We had homemade ice cream, got a box of donuts and I got a 5-cent cup of coffee which I discovered later they actually charged me 12-cents for. I got a to-go cup rather than a mug. A 7-cent styrofoam? Wow. It was a fun place but not for the claustrophobic.

Oh, Bless Their Hearts!

2009-07-13T08:51:00.004-05:00

We saw an ambulance go by one day last week. Nolan says "Maybe someone is really sick or got really hurt. Like, maybe they fell down on the sidewalk and they were wearing shorts and a tanktop." I almost cried! I love how in his little world that is the absolute worst thing that could happen.

I found a little pink bible for Avrie at Unique this past weekend. She was at a sleepover so I just left it on her bed for her to find when she got home. "Mom! My pink bible! It's my most favorite book in the whole world!"

We are making a big effort to eat more veggies. This morning we had sauteed carrots and red bell peppers with our eggs. Nolan says "Mom, I want mushrooms and brussel sprouts for our next breakfast." Seriously. I can't make this stuff up.

Cole hasn't had any words of wisdom yet but he is cutting four teeth all at once. And he's still a jolly baby. He grunts every now and then to express his discomfort.

We'll be spending this week getting packed for our two-week roadtrip! I mean, I'll be spending this week...

What I'm Thinking About...

2009-07-08T14:43:00.003-05:00

*gulp* Training for a 10k.*

A new bed. We loathe our Sleep Number.

My kids. They are growing too fast.

My knees. They hurt. They will cause an issue with bullet #1.

Monsanto. Watch this. Unless you're my Dad, then don't. It's infuriating. I don't see myself actively fighting this on a large scale, but I will fight this within my own little family. So get your GMO-laden junkfood away from my precious cargo. Or I'll beat you with a stick. We watched this movie a few weeks ago and I'm still a little bit nauseous. It literally made me almost throw up. And to think we live in a free country. Bah. You won't find me drinking the Kool-aid and donning the Nikes. GO LOCAL, people.

Our upcoming ROADTRIP with my folks. I'm so excited...the kids are so excited. I'm not sure if poor Evan is....

Plums. Yum.

Swimming lessons. One day left.

Our neighbors. They are awesome. Abby brought over a huge plate of authentic Ethiopian food last Saturday. We had injera, curried veggies, collard greens and red lentils that had cooked all day outside in a big pot on the grill. They were super spicy and delicious. Now if we could just get neighbors on the other side of us....

Coffee. I'm addicted. Arggggh. I hate it.

Check out my latest book review. My husband is even reading it. So. Hilarious.

I was feeling like I hadn't given any effort to this blog lately. So this is my uber lame attempt at getting myself out there again.

*Thinking.

I Keep Shout on the Shelves.

2009-07-08T14:19:00.001-05:00

Summer To-Do List

2009-06-26T14:07:00.002-05:00

I saw this post and just had to replicate. We all had fun coming up with ideas. What's on your list?

Summer Days...

2009-06-26T09:52:00.012-05:00

Beachin' it. Nolan found 83 snails in the lake yesterday. We got a good counting lesson in. Wouldn't want to go all summer without a little old-fashioned education, eh?!

My lawn mower.

Pleased as pie to be nekkid in the swing.

Is this a picture of summer or what?

They do love each other. Sometimes.

For Grandpa

2009-06-18T14:41:00.006-05:00

Future Fashionista?

2009-06-16T09:28:00.003-05:00

See the hotpink leopard pants peeking out the bottom?

Floral, stripe, polka dots. It almost goes.

Nolan's B-day Party Pictures...Belated...

2009-06-15T20:50:00.012-05:00

Nolan shared his birthday with his cousins this year. T is in May, Nolan in June and G in July. They had a camping themed party with a sleepover on the living room floor at Aunt and Uncle's house!

I made a s'more cheesecake.

That tasted exactly as good as it looks.

And s'more cupcakes.

Birthday Boy!

Grandma and Cole

We got Nolan a bigger bike.

Grandma and Cole

Hobo bags for favors.

I love this!

Happy 5th Birthday, Nolan!

2009-06-04T21:26:00.015-05:00

I have a 5-year-old. Gah! Where does the time go? Today was Nolan Day. We had an absolute blast all day.

Started things out right with breakfast in bed. French toast, banana and a smoothie. I had filled up his bed with balloons just before he woke up.

We got to Como just as they were opening the gates.

Playing with Avrie in the park area of Como Town. I'm considering a season pass. I really think we'd get our money's worth.

Oh, and then there is this cutie! He was a champ...rode in the stroller without a single fuss. His favorite part of the day? The train ride. He screeched with laughter the whole time. And it's a really lame ride.

The Frog Hopper. 4 times in a row.

Driving school. Word must have gotten out that Nolan was behind the wheel...he was the only kid on the course.

Sticks of joy. Not so joyous for the pocketbook.

CPK for free birthday lunch.

Went to see UP. Super cute movie. We only had to leave once for a bathroom break. Cole slept the entire time. I'm sure Nolan will dream of balloons carrying away our house tonight.

I can't believe he's 5.

2009-06-03T12:48:00.004-05:00

Hello!

I LOVE the vacuum cleaner. I like to be pulled along behind. Mom even lets me try all by myself!

Nolan caught the first 6 fish!

Long summer days make for an exhausted little girl. She fell asleep peeking under her door two nights in a row.

A Post All His Own....

2009-05-21T12:17:00.007-05:00

Impossible to choose just one. Impossible.

The Husband.

2009-05-21T12:12:00.002-05:00

He pretty much rocks my world. Pretty rugged, eh? He'll be oh-so-not-thrilled with me for posting this wonderful photo of him.

Poolin'

2009-05-21T12:08:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I get wistful and wish for a summer vacation again. Laying by the pool with endless pitchers of iced tea and a good book. But this is so much better. Look at them! This summer hasn't even begun and we're already having a blast.

Shannon Anderson...

2009-05-14T19:09:00.009-05:00

...aside from smashing the bowl to her new food processor to smithereens...had a fantastic sun-filled, fun-filled day with her little piglets. Evan is workin' his tail off with Allen Co. in the morning and Jet-Black in the afternoon/evening. These summer days can get reeeallly long for Mom. Today was an exceptionally awesome day. After breakfast we went to buy our garden goods and hit Trader Joe's for a few things. Came home and planted our tiny garden: basil, cilantro, parsley, lemongrass, zucchini and tomato. Made my way awesome tuna melts for lunch. Went to the park to play and walk a few miles. Stopped at Unique on the way home to score a few things.

I went to a fancy shoe store yesterday fully intending to blow $74 on a pair of Chaco flipflops. They didn't have my size so I had to order them. Made a stop at Unique on the way home and....Chaco sandals. For $6.95. Can't get much better than that, eh?

Proof. The bottoms were scuff-free. This style goes for $79+. Again, I paid $6.95.

Oh, looky the cute bag! This was my find today. Amongst some cute clothes for Avrie. But this was the real star. See my handsome boy? He cut his first tooth on Tuesday. The second is close behind. He's a drooling machine. A happy one. Not much makes this kid upset.

I have a feeling I'll get flamed for this photo. He really did want to show it off. This here is a Lill Studio handbag. You can click the link if you don't believe me that it sells for $140. Brand spankin' new. Not a single crumb or piece of lint in the bag. I bought it because I thought it was cute...I had no idea that it was such a find. Now I think I may sell it and make a whoppin' profit. I paid $9.95. And I really did have to talk myself into spending that much.

Check out the cutsie pocket interior.

Oh, I almost forgot. I found the exact alarm clock I had as a child. It was $14.80. They had batteries so I could see if it worked. I couldn't figure out how to set the alarm on it though so I passed it up. Now I see that I shouldn't have. (You have to scroll down a bit on the ebay listing...)

Food Diary of a 22.5 Pounder

2009-05-11T21:13:00.003-05:00

5:30 a.m. -- Nursed.

8:00 a.m. -- 1 jar of plum, banana, brown rice

9:15 a.m. -- Nursed.

1:15 p.m. -- Nursed.

3:15 p.m. -- 1/3 cup hamburger hotdish mixed with 1 jar of peas with brown rice.

4:00 p.m. -- Teething biscuit. This doesn't really count since most of it was on his shirt when he was done.

6:30 p.m. -- Nursed.

7:00 p.m. -- 4 oz yogurt with peaches.

9:00 p.m. -- 1 jar of sweet potatoes and 1 jar of bananas/mangos.

9:30 p.m. --Nursed.

*Buuurrrp*

I'm amazed at how much this kid packs away.